Not Voting: The Magical Way to Solve All You Political Problems!

Just went to the washingtonpost.com's web site the last night, having discovered their handy Congressional Vote Database, and, in my never ending search for congressional research, began looking up a certain Congressman Marion Berry's voting pattern.

Soon, you see a pattern, of which only has started fairly recently, from the point of the new congress this January. Often, during controversial issues, a four-stage process happens. First, the Republicans try to head-off Democratic Party legislation ( On Motion to Recommit With Instructions). This, Congressman Berry of course votes against. But then, when his fellow colleagues from the same party but from the left side of him offer theirs, he decides just not to vote. No "yea", and no "nay". He apparently just sits it out. Again though, the subject is usually brought up again.

My guess is this:

Vote 1) he hates Republicans, so he votes no.

Vote 2) he thinks his Democratic Colleagues are dirty hippies, but still doesn't want to vote like a Republican, so he just doesn't vote.

Intermission) Speaker Nancy Pelosi reminds Congressman Berry she keeps 198 jars in a congressional office closet specifially one for each of the men in her command, and that he best not find out why.

Vote 3) he votes party-line, or very occasionally, decides to risk testicular removal, goes all Leeroy Jenkins, and actually decides to still sit out or even vote against the Queen's wishes.

This happens in a few cases, such as Credit Cardholders’ Bill of Rights Act of 2009. In the case of House roll number 223: H R 1913, a certain Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act, otherwise known as the Matthew Shephard Act, came up this April. Apparently, he somehow could not find the time to vote either for or against the resolution, even though he had shown up to vote earlier that day. He did find time to get back to work first thing the next daily session, to vote on the all too important roll number 229 HR 230: "Recognizing the Historical Signifigance of the Holiday of Cinco de Mayo."