2008 vote research part 3: Trouble in Berryville

I know I've been hammering this down ridiculously, but if you've been here long enough, it will consume you.

Down in Arkansas county, the the land of Berry's birth, Arelections.org shows that, in Arkansas County, Obama, the man Berry supposedly vouched for, wasn't even able to hit the 40% mark. While the county has voted for Republicans before, never has it so blatantly deaf to a Democratic Presidential Campaign.

Here's more numbers:

(in the city of Stuttgart, where he started his career as a city councilman)

Stuttgart(Ward 1)-16.8% McCain/ 80.2% Obama

Stuttgart(Ward 2)-71.2% McCain/ 26.4% Obama

Stuttgart(Ward 3)-68.8% McCain/ 29.1% Obama

By the way, Ward 1, where it was obviously an Obama landslide, is located in the central part of the city, where virtually the entire black population lives.

Gillett- 67.6% McCain/ 29.1% Obama


(Gillett is where the Congressman currently lives)

DeWitt(Ward 1)- 25.6% McCain/ 71.4 % Obama

DeWitt(Ward 2)- 63% McCain/ 31.5% Obama

DeWitt(Ward 3)- 70.1% McCain/ 20.5% Obama

(DeWitt is where a huge share of the congressman's donors come from, especially in proportion to the population)

News for today

Inmate escapes from the third floor of the jail by scaling down the wall using Christmas lights.

The "Cross Dressing Bandit" has robbed three banks so far this month. What a drag

Man discovers hardware store failed to charge him $1.50 sales tax and decides to do the right thing and mail it directly to the IRS. IRS thanks the man by fining him $50 and threatening to prosecute him for stealing money from the state.

Oprah Winfrey named PETA's 'Person of the Year", just to piss me off that much more.

Bonus: Previous winners include Senator Robert Byrd, a former butcher and member of the Klu Klux Klan... which... I guess makes sense when you value rights of dogs below that of certain peoples.

101.9 Kiss FM Down the Tubes?

Yes, it's been going on for awhile. Even years before Clear Channel sold them to East Arkansas Broadcasters, they dumped their remote assistants to save dough as the whole station cluster(95.9 the wolf,107.9 KFIN, other ex CC stations in Jonesboro) got a budget cut waiting to be sold off. When they did, they were sold off to EAB. If you haven't heard of them, they're the ones who own 103.9 "Earl FM".

Chances are, you still don't know what the Hell I'm talking about.

Anyways, they've lost their old site(since they're no longer affiliated with CC) and now are at http://www.kissjonesboro.com/view/470. Also, they've started on their annual Christmas Treasure Hunt.

The grand prize?


A 2001 Dodge Intrepid, with a new sound system.

My response?



What does the runner up get? An EBT Card and a lifetime supply of this?

My president has "catlike speed and reflexes."

Ah, since I've last been on, the President has learned the one of the main welcoming traditions of US citizens by Arabs while visiting the region(believe me, it's better than the other ones.
To commemorate this, I bring an animated GIF:

It seems as if he's done that drill before.

The first Mountain Dew commercial

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xd8fzk8Rlk



Mountain Dew, the best thing to happen to the South since Crystal Methamphetamine!

Sunday news...

Lost in translation: Hooters opens franchises in China under the name 'The American Owl'

New Versace hotel in Dubai finds ingenious way to deal with global warming: Refrigerate the beach.

The German government has lost over 300 top secret files over the last 10 years. They're so secret, in fact, that they don't even know what they lost. Talk about unknown unknowns.

Wounded Iraq vet gets to adopt her bomb dog.

Operation Blue Falcon: The Groves Election Night Fiasco

(definition courtesy of the Urban Dictionary)
"Blue Falcon"-A socially acceptable reference to the acronym 'bf', also known as 'buddy fuck'; referring to an action that leads to 'fucking over' your 'buddy'. Common in military parlance. See also "bf"

"Our LT-CMD took point, led us through a mine field and almost blue falconed the entire platoon."


The geniuses in the Grove complex November 4th are just that, buddy fuckers. Sure, the election of an African-American to the presidency is a momentous occasion, but it can be assumed that he took great pains in his life not to act like the fucktards who decided to booze up, not leave the complex when the cops ordered them to leave "more than 15 times", as JPD Chief Yates said, and decided to shout obscenities at the police officers. As they were starting to arrest the more fucktarded sounding of the bunch, a couple decided to do something quite brilliant.

They approached the officers...

and acted a fool.

Oh, ya, that's a taserin'.

In this Hope-filled melee, one particularly genius man from Stuttgart decided to put his Fist of Change to a female officer's nose, breaking it.

Right after this all went down, mass emails, as well as a complaint filed with the JPD were sent all over accusing the JPD of police brutality by Brittany Jones. Now, I will say the JPD is pretty ridiculous when it comes to protocol, but they rarely give people "a date with senior nightstick" unless they earn it, and these guys earned it.

Now, several witnesses, including Jones, are trying to change their stories during taped police interviews. Brittany, apparently now knowing that filing a false statement is sort of illegal, asked if she could "scratch out" the original statement similar to the mass-email claims, and make a new statement.

It doesn't work that way, ma'am.

According to the Jonesboro Sun say that "repeated attempts to contact Brittany Jackson, Erika Guy and Chelsea Adams, who also filed complaints against officers, were unsuccessful."

One could assume they were too busy fighting for social justice to be bothered with requests with what really happened that night.

Arelection.org data continues...

Ok, now that Greene County's county clerk decided to stop holding up the info on her county, the stats on the First Congressional District are in...

Counties going Red in '08: 21

Counties going Blue in '08: 5

Local Democrats crying in their beers that they actually have to campaign for this guy again in four years in counties where local Democratic leaders and candidates were openly stating their support for McCain: priceless.

Seriously, I can't state this enough how big this is. In the entire history of the region of Eastern Arkansas, the majority of its people have never voted to have a Republican president until now. Even Greene County, the county that historically would literally vote for a Yellow Dog than a Republican had only had a single point difference between it's vote and in Baxter County's, meaning it's on track to going Red on the local level in 4 to 8 years.

It didn't hurt that the county's democratic committee refused to hold a campaign HQ in Obama's name. Hell, I don't think they even did that to Carter in '80.

Oh and one more thing. Did anyone notice that former Democratic State Chair and Jonesboro native Willett had his mayoral campaign pretty much crash and burning after spending over a 100 grand and ended of tens of thousands of that in debt after getting less than 20% of the vote. Considering that Jonesboro is the main fund raising hub for Democrats the region, we was the DPA state chair, and he's actually from Jonesboro, I believe I shall award him:

News you can't use. Not yours.

California homosexuals urged to "call in gay" to work on Wednesday. In other news, Banana Republic locations across California will be closed Wednesday.

The Top 10 movies that should have rocked, but didn't. In case you didn't realize Spiderman 3 is a finalist, I should remind you Topher Grace played Venom.


Remember when we were kids and our moms would hold us down and write swear words on our foreheads with a crayon? Good times, good times.

Official in charge of keeping Massachusetts ports free of illegal immigrants arrested for hiring illegal immigrants.

Ah, and a youtube link to an old Siskel and Ebert review of "A Christmas Story"... Ironic predictions about the future success abound:

Youtube, Camera Phones, Beer, Borat, and Why Life as We Know it is Already Doomed

It came to me as I watched a scene of Borat on the movie screen in LSA Anaconda, Iraq during my deployment. As often do many things that people do while intoxicated, South Carolina college students decide to pick up a Kazakh news reporter.

As we all know, this had no probability of ending well.

Looking already too drunk to even turn down a sexual favor from woman with a suspiciously large Adam's Apple, and with a little coxing from Borat, they were happy to oblige with various racist and sexist remarks that will make their next few trips to Wal-Mart more than a little awkward.

Then something came into my mind. A bad, horrible, terrible thing. What if this happened more often? What if people actually did start going around at parties with wireless cameras and microphones, trying to use lack of context, loose lips, and even the law of averages, getting caught up in the moment and completely gaffing the flying f**k away in one sentence?

Think of it this way: have you ever said at least one thing, one thing in your entire life that would be so horrible, that, if publicized could harm you socially?

And often more serious actions by collections of morons caught on tape, or at least persons under temporary morose behavior, can actually lead to large scale tomfoolery, and when tomfoolery breaks out, we're all pretty much screwed.

By the way, any old timers remember seeing footage like this from the beautiful city of LA? It's like having the COPS production crew pretty much behind the shoulder of each and every one of us, waiting for the moment to put us in Youtube infamy.

...so ya, we're pretty much screwed.

Burger Virgins... and barely legal.

Yes, this apparently is a very real (but not really serious) documentary, as Burger King actually did send people out on a wacked out version of the old Pepsi-Coke taste tests.

Apparently, there are people who are outraged about this, as people with bunched-up panties often are.

December's first batch...

(there would be a funny picture about winter, but blogspot decided to be evil for the moment...)

In a stunning reversal, UAW president says they may agree to having some of their members not be paid for doing absolutely nothing.

If you are trying to get out of a DUI manslaughter arrest, giggling during your field sobriety test is not the best strategy.

This is why you always get the new kid to clear the paper jam in the printer.

Vin Diesel to star in "dead language version" movie of Hannibal crossing the Alps. Because "Alexander" didn't cause a a rip in the terrible-movie-space-time-continuum that was supposed to kill us all years ago.

Scientists putting in long hours of "research" discover different cultures use different gestures to order beer.

News

Arrest made in attractive, blonde anchor woman's death. For some strange reason, they mention the suspect's car had 22" rims. Surely a critical detail, nothing else.

Cardboard figure keeps police at bay. "After failing to get any response from the figure inside, the SWAT team entered."

Former New York cop wins $4.5 million in damages after shooting himself in the leg when the chair he was sitting in broke. ""He's lucky in a sense that he didn't shoot himself somewhere else."

Walmart employee killed on Black Friday, otherwise known as the annual American Running of the Bulls.

It's past midnight after Thanksgiving night...

...and I'm still up. At least the turkey was good this year. My turkey. Not yours. You can't have any.

First of all: Happy Thanksbacon

Apparently, since it's all the rage in Nebraska to "kid-litter", two parents whose last names suspiciously don't match decide to leave their 4 year old at "709 Cut Rate Package Liquor Store" in Springfield, IL... which... if you have ever been there, sounds just about right.

8-year-old kid is thrown out of class for being noisy. So he does the only logical thing and goes home to complain to his mother... in the teacher's car

There are so many phones smuggled into Texas prisons, officials are considering installing cell phone jamming technology.

More people visiting food banks for help. "I have a master's degree. I shouldn't have to do this"

Best Classified Ad... ever.

(it was here, but got taken down)

Actual car ad from Craigslist:

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

-end of ad-

I attacked multiple government targets in the 1970s and all I got was this lousy t-shirt from "Earthbound"

If you didn't hear, Bill Ayers, college professor, philanthropist, and crazy man was on NPR's Fresh Air tonight. In the spirit of listening to both sides of the story, I decided to bite and actually listen to what he had to say.

Conclusion: This guy is still out of his freaking mind. Despite repeated attempts by Terry Gross to state some sort of apology for his actions. Ironically enough, Mr. Ayers states on several cases he was "radical" and "stupid", yet refuses to apologize for his actions or those of his Weather Underground colleagues.

While the relationship between him and Bill Ayers is debatable, it was still a complete lapse of judgment to even associate himself with the man during a presidential election nonetheless. After all, it’s like saying it is ok for a conservative to associate himself with Eric Rudolph if the bombs hadn’t hurt anyone.

Anyways, here’s a link to said interview here.

Midnight news?

Al Sharpton owes the USA half a million in unpaid taxes. Apparently it is illegal to deduct expenses for hair care products

German brothel offers free entry to anyone who gets its logo tattooed on his arm. Gives a whole new meaning to 'tramp stamps'

Whoever has been cutting off horse tails in northwest Iowa, please knock it off

German troops in Afghanistan drunk more than 1.8m pints last year… wait… why do they get to have beer over there?

Euphoric Obama fans may be sparking a baby boom. That’s change we can pay with our taxes to DHS for about 18 years per head

quick election notes

Even though this is in the middle of my "work week"(I work 12 hours a day, three days on, three off), I want to mention any notes I had forgotten to mention earlier, like voting patterns in NEA.

-First district's counties votes finally went red. Counties that didn't even go red in 2004 went for mccain this election.Counties that did go for Obama.

-The ban proposal on unmarried couples fostering or adopting (Proposed Initiative no. 1 passed surprisingly enough. Reaction to it had been mixed in the state Republican party toward supporting it. As far as in this area, there's no real pattern between the Delta counties and non-delta, as opposed to the Amendment 3 issue 4 years ago (and even then, that was debatable). My only guess is maybe the various county counts of while liberals, but alas, arelections.org sets out votes by issue or geography, not by number of Episcopalians.

-Obama won by more points in California than Kerry in '04, and the gay marriage ban there(Proposition 8) was supposed to be down by at least 5 points according to final polls, so how did it pass? People forgot San Fransisco and Oakland are pretty damn different. African-Americans voted in favor of the ban by 70 percent (which may very well be more than AR African-Americans did for Amendment 3 in '04 even) . Ironically enough, it may very well had been because of Obama's campaign that it was able to pass in such a liberal state as California.

Yes, that thought numbs the mind, but I'd like to remind my fellow non-AR friends I come from a state that elected George Wallace, William Fulbright, and Winthrop Rockefeller at the same time 40 years ago. These things are possible. These things happen.

WTF News

Nanny State bans coast guard from using flares on search-and-rescue missions because they're "too dangerous"

You know what's worse than an IED in Iraq? Seeing them in Texas.

Man parks load of manure in front of Dem HQ, proclaiming Dem's message "a load of crap"

Man begs for release of woman who tried to have him and his kids killed, calling her "one of the nicest people you could ever know."

Bar holding Obama rally offered free drinks for every state won. Can you guess how this ended?

Denver Police, apparently unhappy with lack of violent protests at DNC, staged one themselves using undercover cops. I'm sure there would be more outrage except that one of the other cops got confused and decided to pepper-spay his own guys.

YAY FOR CHANGE!

I live near the corner of Mathews and Gee St in Jonesboro, so naturally there's celebratory 9mm gunfire, which is better than dive-by gunfire I guess.

In the News

Miami has a murder-free month... the first in over 40 years.

PETA offers Ringling Bros. an animatronic elephant to replace its real ones.

A video of the top secret Cold War-era bunker where your leaders would ride out the apocalypse while you burned to a fiery ash.

Woman with 38 previous convictions, nine social security numbers and several aliases faces life sentence... for shoplifting

Forget Joe the Plumber: Joe the Lead Guitarist for Aerosmith endorses McCain

New news?

Still have this baby in Development Hell... I'm talking to two new folks as we speak. In the meanwhile...

Mary-Kate turns into Skeletor

As I've said a million times before myself, Arkansas News confirms that McCain will make Obama his bitch in Arkansas.

If you own a Chinese restaurant, it's never a good idea to let the health inspector find employees butchering a deer in the kitchen. Sorry, no pics.

"Hey pass me that cutting torch near the bucket of fuel, I need to remove the rusty bolts on the car's gas tank"

I'm having trouble with the current news links I have...

... so here's another reason why parents should lock up their children.

Congressman Berry: Epic Fail

Our state's Democrats just can't seem to avoid that there darn youtube or the rest of the internets.

By the way, I was there during the surge. Sure, the supply system got jammed up initially (we got several space heaters when it was mid-July), and the time it took to get our laundry back from the wash went from 2 to 5 days turnaround (probably because of the fact that our base literally doubled in population to the size of Paragould or Cabot in just months), but I would consider it a mere complaint when faced with the other options.

If this surge did not happen, with Obama and Congressman Berry having his chance, our 39th would be running to the choppers going out of town, not of their own fear but those of a Confederacy of Cowardice. Ones not driven to being for or against this war because of their true conscience, but do so to save their own skins.

Stay classy, Congressman.

Youtube Comedy Gold

Arkansas Voting...

OK, so it's no new news that Arkansas is Democrat, and the eastern part of that at that. So how do do we exactly vote?

Pretty much like Obama bowls.

Just look at the voting patterns here on arelections.org . Now look at counties like Greene and Lawrence counties at both county and ward levels the past, particularly between 2004 amendment 3 and the election of Republican candidates.

Nope, it does not make sense.

News you can't use. Not yours.

Starting to get back into swing here...


Police are investigating a violent, suburban gang formed on an up-scale high school campus called "The Fluffy Bunny Crew"


Kansas mayor apologizes for appearing in blackface. Bonus, his name is pronounced "koon"

Welcome to Baltimore, home of the $11,000 traffic ticket

According to a poll, 59 percent of voters would have no problem with replacing the entire Congress.


The election may give Democrats a fillibuster-proof majority of 60 seats in the U.S. Senate. Combined with the inevitable Democrat in the White House, and we better get our free health care. And our free ponies.

That was the part where you simply run, Mark.

College Reorientation Time

I wanted to get a massive collection of stories out, but it's 2 in the morning and I will regret my caffeine intake soon enough:

Gas station attendant accidentally sets price of a gallon to 35 cents. Upon finding out, owner said, "The people looked so happy when they were buying gas. If I can do this for them, that's all right"

And the latest Chinese product being recalled due to unsafe chemical levels is... pretzels


The Quebec Human Rights Commission is about to make a landmark decision on.... how to use silverware properly... damn Gypsies and their chopsticks.

Pakistanis angry over their President over putting the movies on VP candidate and Alaska Governor Sarah "Tina Fey"Palin. Please stop by for the conversation. Stay for all the semi-English literate Pakistanis on the youtube comments section.

Web 1.0 celebrity "Where are they now?"

I'm back...

...again

Youtube Comedy Gold

WTF News

Around 300 hippie-ass protesters arrested around Republican Convention, Eric Cartman dispatched to scene.

New history textbook from Russia tells its country's students that Joseph Stalin that he was "entirely rational" to kill more people than even Hitler did.

"Disaster Movie", unlike all the other crappy spoofs that have came out, lives up to its name.

Just when Republicans where breaking a sweat, Rev. Wright saves the day by being Rev. Wright.

Arkansas columnist explains how screwed the Democratic Party of Arkansas is getting people to vote for Obama.

Democrats: When your standards are lower, how can you have scandals?

In new news, Governor's Sarah Palin's 17 year old unmarried daughter is having a child. Of course, leftist blogs of the Daily Kos variety are already having a field day with this.

It kind of sucks in a way to be young conservative leaning, as everything you do is apparently held to a higher standard. Apparently, as long as you're a Democrat like Congressman Barney Frank, having sexual relationships with gay hookers named "Steve" are perfectly normal.


You see, it's easy to be a Democrat when you lower your standards.

Youtube Comedy Gold

Be like Fred and Barney: Take a "Winston Break."

WTF News

5 reasons why nursery rhymes are evil.

Some N.O. residents can't or won't leave, because "Fuck it, I'm out of here" is still not as good as, "I think I'll stay, since it worked out so great the first time."

Michael Moore hurricane Gustav during Republican Convention: "Proof that there's a god in heaven."

Now that gay marriage is legal in California the inmates are going to get in on the action.

Youtube Commercial Comedy Gold

WTF News

Arkansas Obama delegates coming back from "Hopefest '08" realize that, in the end, they still have to him elected. Where is your Hope now, bitches?

Business at Denver strip clubs lackluster during the DNC. Why don't the Democrats support single moms?

Hottest selling disaster supply item in hurricane-threatened New Orleans? Rifles

HIV is spreading through New York at three times the national rate, which makes for a nice addition to all the herpes.

The DA lost her home to forclosure. The mayor, whom she is prosecuting, can't pay his legal bills. Welcome to the great city of Detroit: where the most fiscally responsible are drug dealers.

Army Barrackses in Fort Chaffee, AR to house possible evacuees again, because the Superdome didn't suck enough the first time.

Merely News

Secret Service security sweep of Mitt Romney's family to protect against hate groups, former owners of AMC Pacers and Gremlins still pissed at his dad. Possible VP pic?

WTF?

Ok, so I'm mixing up daily fail stories with stuff WTFworthy. I worked the past 2 weeks straight, so give me a break:

L.A. City council is forcing Home Depot and other home improvement stores to provide shelter to day laborers, 95% of which are, you guessed it, are illegal.

Fight at a 7-11 involving one guy, several women, Mace, a can of peanuts, and about two dozen braided hair extensions "strewn across the parking lot."

United States military is funding research into the reading of minds. Being as this is sort of unexplored territory, you would think they would give more than 4 million, but alas, no.

Virginia town holds "Sheep and Goat Olympics", because creating a site like this is actually merely the second lowest point in boredom.

Thought of the day...

If gay men can go to to the men's room, why can't straight men go to the Ladies room?

The Daily Fail

American Airlines supports the troops -- for an extra $300 charge per duffel bag, that is.

Mugshot and surveillance video of Colorado's phony "porn inspector"

During the DNC, Al-Jazeera will spotlight Colorado town where Coors is brewed. Once again showing they'll do anything to make the US look bad.

In response to recent violence, authorities have imposed a 24-hour curfew on the city, enforced by roadblocks manned by paramilitary forces carrying M-16s and M-4s. Is this a) Baghdad, Iraq, b) Tbilisi, Georgia, or c) Helena, Arkansas?

Finally, a case worthy of the U.S. Supreme Court's time: whether a 5th grader's candy canes are religiously offensive.

Burger King employee -- caught taking a nude bath in restaurant's utility sink -- gives himself the most appropriate nickname ever: "Mr. Unstable." Or, as his friends call him, "Mr. Unemployed”

House in Detroit sells for $1. That way, you’ll be able to spring extra bucks for the new ballistic vest you will need while you live in Detroit.

The Daily Fail

Liberal Arkansas political columnist finally realizes that the only thing worse than being a Republican in Arkansas Democratic politics is being an African-American-anybody. I'm sure glad the Democratic Party of Arkansas took care of that Racism thingy in the past 200 years of state control.

Epic fail, with Irony high-fiving Orval Faubus.

Two men in Arkansas Mexican restaurant company arrested for harboring illegal aliens and funneling money. Because there are absolutely no others around here. None at all.

Black Democratic congressional candidate from Memphis wishes her white incumbent (and also Democratic) rival a good race in which they can debate the hard-hitting issues….

FWAWAHAHAHAHAHA … Got you. She made a TV ad placing images of him next to the Klu Klux Klan. Super fail bonus: the white guy is also kind of Jewish.

Obama's Muslim coordinator resigns because he is connected to Hamas terrorist group. Epic fail, with Irony doing post-game victory dance.

The Daily Fail

Today comes with a real doozy, as apparently forgetting a ghost site can bite you in the ass years later. It has been shut down due to server collaspe literally a few hours ago, so heres the rehosted site.

Now look at the upper right corner of the site.

epic fail, school webmaster, or should I say win?

Moqtada al-Sadr has finally decided to give up. Congrats troops, the final bitch has been owned.

How many cheerleaders can fit inside an elevator? Answer: not 26.

Congratulations Ohio for garnering four slots on the Forbes 10 fastest dying cities in the US list.

Sorry

I had to work on my wife's birthday gift yesterday. That is all.

Same-Sex Marriage, Universal Buttsex, and Morman Extremists. Same Freakshows

As the butt pirate lobby strives for Universal Buttsex, apparently everyone has completely bypassed the irony in what should be a normal, legal marriage. There is apparently growing support of a marriage between one man and another man, but yet, everyone thinks that polygamist marriages are still weird as hell.

Step back for a second and think about it.

Man + Woman= Fine

Man + 2 Women= Freak show

2 Men + Woman= WTF

Man + Man = Fine?

We've went one step up and two steps backs folks. The Buttsecks lobby is wrong, just as the Fundamental Church of Latter-Day Saints is when they say they're all for "Big Love" as long as no more kiddies are involved. You're both outta your fucking minds.

And I want my whip and leather vest back, dammit.

The Daily Fail

-Chinese Restaurant uses online translator for Name of Restaurant and makes mistake of assuming "Translate Server Error" was supposed to be the result.

-When skateboarding on a roof, watch out for skylights.

-Greyhound cancels ad Manitoba campaign promising "there's a reason you've never heard of bus rage."

-Copper thieves: God's gift to dumb crook news.

-How can SWAT screw a drug raid up? A) Bust the mayor in his underwear. B) Decline to arrest anyone once they realize he's the mayor. C) Shoot both his dogs, including the one that was running away. D) All of the above

Beebe on Drilling

In another great act of irony, Democratic Governor Mike Beebe has stated his support for drilling in Arkansas Wildlife Management Areas.

I have to ask, do liberal Democrats in Arkansas ever voice notable dissent in cases where Arkansas Democrat politicians are obviously taking advantage of them? How does a liberal in Paragould in the 1990s vote for Tim Wooldridge, a state legislator who was much more conservative than a lot of local Republicans, and had seriously mentioned re-introducing public execution?

I guess as easily as Mike Beebe accepted the nut job's endorsement.

Awww, my first WTF?! segment

New Arkansas political news has reached my ears. As Hillary Clinton's beat down in the primaries finished, it became clear that Arkansas would be nowhere close to a swing state statues, and state democrats are left scrambling, not to mention leaving Marion Berry in the most possible awkward political position of a White Democrat from Stuttgart, Arkansas.... EVER.

You would think this would completely break open a chance for the RPA to shatter records, do the unthinkable and turn red counties in eastern Arkansas that don't even have a stable Republican County Committee, but you would be assuming Arkansas politics wasn't on crack.

It seems that since the 1st Congressional District, in it's first chance to be won by a Republican presidential candidate, will NOT get a regional headquarters. The nearest one for the most part will be in Searcy, about 3 hours drive from several of the larger county committees in the 1st district. Meanwhile, Searcy is less than an hour from the Little Rock State HQ.

The RPA's logic is this is that they are focusing their resources on local campaigns, while taking comfort in the political assplosion on the state democrat's end(so to speak).

The thing is that the 1st District has never been accessible to Republicans. Ever. So why on earth would you possibly squander that?