Tragedy, Chaos, Persevereance, and my pimpin' new Marquis

I hope all of you can forgive my absence, me just getting out of the wost Ice Storm in the past 50 years and what not. It seems to have had NEA for breakfast, as virtually every city in the area had it's entire grid portion go out. It also caused total loss of electricity in many cities in the Missouri boot heel, although many were completely unaware(ha).

As for myself, my house in NW Jonesboro was out for around 36 hours. Also, a large heavy branch decided to knock a massive hole in the sunroof of my wife's car. Now Laura is driving my Mazda3:


In the meanwhile, I have this bad boy:


Joy.

Local News...

In local news, the recession is finally here. Arkansas' unemployment rate goes to 6.2%


I never thought it would come to this, but finding a decent job has gotten to the point where I am considering voluntarily deploying a serious consideration. Sure, it would be a nightmare to go through again, but hey, free full family health care and the equivalent of over 40,000 a year?

If it makes you feel any better about our economy, with the fact that just in one day yesterday, 40,000 jobs where lost, don't panic...

...Marmaduke just got a Subway.

Yes, our economic woes will be defeated with this mighty sanctuary of sub sandwiches built right on the ruins of the north side of town where tornadoes have not just once, or twice, but three times have annihilated everything. At least the property value was cheap.

Youtube Comedy Gold presents: Poor Chinese baby...

By the way, I will be getting ready to post some Super Bowl commercial classics just before game day, so stay tuned.

Reason #74 about not updating: I'm having a baby...

...well, the wife, Laura is having one. Not interested in being a self-made genetic bastardization as this thing is, I am not, as it should be.

The name is Harrison Keith Shumard, and he will rock this world. This is, in fact... a fact. I know this, because it just is.

He will also have a decent pad:







By the way, Laura made the picture. Not bad at all.

Greene County Democrats Snub Obama and DNC on Donor Dough

"Not well Brian... not well."

-Stewie Griffin, "Lois Kills Stewie"

Just going through the donations of the various local and federal candidates today.
Apparently, all the powers-that-be that normally donate to Democrats had refused to give our great leader any money. That includes such folks as State Representative Billy Gaskill (just a $207 donation to the state party, which is kind of cheap considering he spent untold amounts beating out two other guys in a primary a few years ago) , First National Bank chairman Bill Brewer($5,500), Liberty Bank Banker Mark Fowler(2,000), Chevy Dealership owner Thomas Kirk ($6,900) Tom Kirk's relatives (don't know how related...$2,100 and $3,300 each), long time local Democratic activist Harry Trumann Moore($3,000), State Senator Robert Thompson ($3,800), among dozens of other folks that had either donated to the state Democratic Party, Hillary Clinton, Mark Pryor, or Marion Berry. Combined of the above group alone, makes up 26,807 of money that went to just about everyone... everyone but the DNC and the Obama Campaign.

So far, the only relatively major Obama donors listed in Greene county are an Adel and Yeesoon (I am not making these names up) Hassan, both of whom donated $1,000 each last year. These two donations are the only donations reported towards Obama (unless there's some closeted Obama fan that donated 199 bucks 11 1/2 times to avoid having to report), so aside from those two donations, Greene County Democrats systematically snubbed Obama and the DNC out of any money whatsoever.

Think about it. According to campaignmoney.com, the NATIONAL RURAL LETTER CARRIERS' ASSOCIATION POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE got more money from Greene County than the Democratic National Committee. Considering that the county has been second only to Craighead county in Democratic support in Northeast Arkansas, the fact that not a single regular Democratic figure, politician, fundraiser, or otherwise besides two people that are probably from out-of-state may explain the weakest support for a Democratic national candidate ever in a national election.

Not well Brian... not well.

News

Took me forever tonight to get this done for some reason:

"Brad Pitt, Colin Ferrell lead mustache comeback," complete with yet another reason to hate Nicholas Cage.

CT governor names Linda McMahon, CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, to State Education Board. Her first suggestion is to change the boardroom furniture to break-away tables and metal chairs.

Columnist calls to end legal prostitution in Rhode Island. In other news, prostitution is legal in Rhode Island.

Zimbabwe unveils Z$100 trillion note. That's $30($40 if you're reading this after lunch tomorrow).

Venezuela to vote on referendum to re-elect Chavez indefinitely--whether they want to or not.

More posters...

also...

status of US Airways Jet that crashed at La Guardia...

The Barack Obama... yarmulke.

To go with the national Obamarama that is currently taking hold (MTV is apparently having a bit of an "multiple Obamism", Clinton never even turned them on this much), goes the cashing in. Among other things, there are items like shoes, shirts, and then it goes all Star Wars movie merchandise on us.

People are now even trying to sell lava lamps and "Obamica" skull caps.

There is nothing that compares to this merchandising insanity... almost.

News

Sorry folks. I've just got off 3 more 12-hour days:

Iranians welcome the new Obama Adminstration with goodwill and hope for a better era of American-Islamic relations. Just kidding, they're setting giant pictures of Barack Obama on fire.

State lawmakers finally aim to put an end to that sweet, sweet alligator lovin'.

What proposed California state facility would have handball courts, therapy kitchens, music and crafts rooms, yoga, and a basketball court? If you said, "the new prison hospitals", you've just won a new new car, or just less incentive to pay taxes.

Obama threatens veto, even though he's not president yet.

HI! I'M BILLY MAYS AND I'M GOING TO ANNOY YOU FOR 60 SECONDS!

Noticed the scourge of TV pitchmen hordes that are coming out of your television? Here's the wonderful news how, as our economy gets worse, they will only grow in strength. Why?

Because our tears provide nourishment to Billy Mays. That's why.

Not really. As this hard-hitting journalism from New Jersey tells us, as-seen-on-tv products actually become more successful due to cheaper promotion costs and increased viewership.

So actually, yes. In a roundabout way, our tears do, in fact, provide nourishment to Billy Mays.

Oddly enough, the more interesting story about these guys is the one about Vince Offer. Vince who?



This man.

Interestingly enough, Vince Offer is a former "independent filmmaker", whose "film"(a 1999 "comedy" called "The Underground Comedy Movie") tanked, and so then decided sue everyone from the Farrelly brothers to Anna Nicole Smith to the Church of Scientology for screwing up his movie.

It should be noted that Anna Nicole was sued for backing out of being in the movie, as she thought it would be detrimental to her career.

Anna Nicole Smith's career.

So Billy Mays drinks your tears, Vince Offer killed Anna Nicole Smith, and here's your big piece of shit slider station.

New Year's News

Iraq's "Green Zone" now being handed over to the Iraq Government. Where the Hell has that easy button been hiding?

103-year-old woman credits her longevity to coffee, doughnuts, peanut butter and cheese. Behold the power of cheese.

Another sign of the bad economy: drug dealers taking gift cards as payment.

Former Rhode Island senator Claiborne Pell, who gave us Pell grants, dies at age 90.

The first Navy SEAL passes away at 84.

...gosh, a depressing way to start the year...

Australian police spend two million on a shooting simulator because their officers have so little firearms experience they are afraid to use their own guns.

Forget about the crappy economy, an eruption of the Yellowstone supervolcano will destroy so much life on Earth that the new economy will based on firearms and liquor, making the US and the Irish world powers.