News

Arrest made in attractive, blonde anchor woman's death. For some strange reason, they mention the suspect's car had 22" rims. Surely a critical detail, nothing else.

Cardboard figure keeps police at bay. "After failing to get any response from the figure inside, the SWAT team entered."

Former New York cop wins $4.5 million in damages after shooting himself in the leg when the chair he was sitting in broke. ""He's lucky in a sense that he didn't shoot himself somewhere else."

Walmart employee killed on Black Friday, otherwise known as the annual American Running of the Bulls.

It's past midnight after Thanksgiving night...

...and I'm still up. At least the turkey was good this year. My turkey. Not yours. You can't have any.

First of all: Happy Thanksbacon

Apparently, since it's all the rage in Nebraska to "kid-litter", two parents whose last names suspiciously don't match decide to leave their 4 year old at "709 Cut Rate Package Liquor Store" in Springfield, IL... which... if you have ever been there, sounds just about right.

8-year-old kid is thrown out of class for being noisy. So he does the only logical thing and goes home to complain to his mother... in the teacher's car

There are so many phones smuggled into Texas prisons, officials are considering installing cell phone jamming technology.

More people visiting food banks for help. "I have a master's degree. I shouldn't have to do this"

Best Classified Ad... ever.

(it was here, but got taken down)

Actual car ad from Craigslist:

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

-end of ad-

I attacked multiple government targets in the 1970s and all I got was this lousy t-shirt from "Earthbound"

If you didn't hear, Bill Ayers, college professor, philanthropist, and crazy man was on NPR's Fresh Air tonight. In the spirit of listening to both sides of the story, I decided to bite and actually listen to what he had to say.

Conclusion: This guy is still out of his freaking mind. Despite repeated attempts by Terry Gross to state some sort of apology for his actions. Ironically enough, Mr. Ayers states on several cases he was "radical" and "stupid", yet refuses to apologize for his actions or those of his Weather Underground colleagues.

While the relationship between him and Bill Ayers is debatable, it was still a complete lapse of judgment to even associate himself with the man during a presidential election nonetheless. After all, it’s like saying it is ok for a conservative to associate himself with Eric Rudolph if the bombs hadn’t hurt anyone.

Anyways, here’s a link to said interview here.

Midnight news?

Al Sharpton owes the USA half a million in unpaid taxes. Apparently it is illegal to deduct expenses for hair care products

German brothel offers free entry to anyone who gets its logo tattooed on his arm. Gives a whole new meaning to 'tramp stamps'

Whoever has been cutting off horse tails in northwest Iowa, please knock it off

German troops in Afghanistan drunk more than 1.8m pints last year… wait… why do they get to have beer over there?

Euphoric Obama fans may be sparking a baby boom. That’s change we can pay with our taxes to DHS for about 18 years per head

quick election notes

Even though this is in the middle of my "work week"(I work 12 hours a day, three days on, three off), I want to mention any notes I had forgotten to mention earlier, like voting patterns in NEA.

-First district's counties votes finally went red. Counties that didn't even go red in 2004 went for mccain this election.Counties that did go for Obama.

-The ban proposal on unmarried couples fostering or adopting (Proposed Initiative no. 1 passed surprisingly enough. Reaction to it had been mixed in the state Republican party toward supporting it. As far as in this area, there's no real pattern between the Delta counties and non-delta, as opposed to the Amendment 3 issue 4 years ago (and even then, that was debatable). My only guess is maybe the various county counts of while liberals, but alas, arelections.org sets out votes by issue or geography, not by number of Episcopalians.

-Obama won by more points in California than Kerry in '04, and the gay marriage ban there(Proposition 8) was supposed to be down by at least 5 points according to final polls, so how did it pass? People forgot San Fransisco and Oakland are pretty damn different. African-Americans voted in favor of the ban by 70 percent (which may very well be more than AR African-Americans did for Amendment 3 in '04 even) . Ironically enough, it may very well had been because of Obama's campaign that it was able to pass in such a liberal state as California.

Yes, that thought numbs the mind, but I'd like to remind my fellow non-AR friends I come from a state that elected George Wallace, William Fulbright, and Winthrop Rockefeller at the same time 40 years ago. These things are possible. These things happen.

WTF News

Nanny State bans coast guard from using flares on search-and-rescue missions because they're "too dangerous"

You know what's worse than an IED in Iraq? Seeing them in Texas.

Man parks load of manure in front of Dem HQ, proclaiming Dem's message "a load of crap"

Man begs for release of woman who tried to have him and his kids killed, calling her "one of the nicest people you could ever know."

Bar holding Obama rally offered free drinks for every state won. Can you guess how this ended?

Denver Police, apparently unhappy with lack of violent protests at DNC, staged one themselves using undercover cops. I'm sure there would be more outrage except that one of the other cops got confused and decided to pepper-spay his own guys.

YAY FOR CHANGE!

I live near the corner of Mathews and Gee St in Jonesboro, so naturally there's celebratory 9mm gunfire, which is better than dive-by gunfire I guess.

In the News

Miami has a murder-free month... the first in over 40 years.

PETA offers Ringling Bros. an animatronic elephant to replace its real ones.

A video of the top secret Cold War-era bunker where your leaders would ride out the apocalypse while you burned to a fiery ash.

Woman with 38 previous convictions, nine social security numbers and several aliases faces life sentence... for shoplifting

Forget Joe the Plumber: Joe the Lead Guitarist for Aerosmith endorses McCain