I know I've been hammering this down ridiculously, but if you've been here long enough, it will consume you.
Down in Arkansas county, the the land of Berry's birth, Arelections.org shows that, in Arkansas County, Obama, the man Berry supposedly vouched for, wasn't even able to hit the 40% mark. While the county has voted for Republicans before, never has it so blatantly deaf to a Democratic Presidential Campaign.
Here's more numbers:
(in the city of Stuttgart, where he started his career as a city councilman)
Stuttgart(Ward 1)-16.8% McCain/ 80.2% Obama
Stuttgart(Ward 2)-71.2% McCain/ 26.4% Obama
Stuttgart(Ward 3)-68.8% McCain/ 29.1% Obama
By the way, Ward 1, where it was obviously an Obama landslide, is located in the central part of the city, where virtually the entire black population lives.
Gillett- 67.6% McCain/ 29.1% Obama
(Gillett is where the Congressman currently lives)
DeWitt(Ward 1)- 25.6% McCain/ 71.4 % Obama
DeWitt(Ward 2)- 63% McCain/ 31.5% Obama
DeWitt(Ward 3)- 70.1% McCain/ 20.5% Obama
(DeWitt is where a huge share of the congressman's donors come from, especially in proportion to the population)
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
News for today
Inmate escapes from the third floor of the jail by scaling down the wall using Christmas lights.
The "Cross Dressing Bandit" has robbed three banks so far this month. What a drag
Man discovers hardware store failed to charge him $1.50 sales tax and decides to do the right thing and mail it directly to the IRS. IRS thanks the man by fining him $50 and threatening to prosecute him for stealing money from the state.
Oprah Winfrey named PETA's 'Person of the Year", just to piss me off that much more.
Bonus: Previous winners include Senator Robert Byrd, a former butcher and member of the Klu Klux Klan... which... I guess makes sense when you value rights of dogs below that of certain peoples.
The "Cross Dressing Bandit" has robbed three banks so far this month. What a drag
Man discovers hardware store failed to charge him $1.50 sales tax and decides to do the right thing and mail it directly to the IRS. IRS thanks the man by fining him $50 and threatening to prosecute him for stealing money from the state.
Oprah Winfrey named PETA's 'Person of the Year", just to piss me off that much more.
Bonus: Previous winners include Senator Robert Byrd, a former butcher and member of the Klu Klux Klan... which... I guess makes sense when you value rights of dogs below that of certain peoples.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
101.9 Kiss FM Down the Tubes?
Yes, it's been going on for awhile. Even years before Clear Channel sold them to East Arkansas Broadcasters, they dumped their remote assistants to save dough as the whole station cluster(95.9 the wolf,107.9 KFIN, other ex CC stations in Jonesboro) got a budget cut waiting to be sold off. When they did, they were sold off to EAB. If you haven't heard of them, they're the ones who own 103.9 "Earl FM".
Chances are, you still don't know what the Hell I'm talking about.
Anyways, they've lost their old site(since they're no longer affiliated with CC) and now are at http://www.kissjonesboro.com/view/470. Also, they've started on their annual Christmas Treasure Hunt.
The grand prize?
A 2001 Dodge Intrepid, with a new sound system.
My response?
What does the runner up get? An EBT Card and a lifetime supply of this?
Chances are, you still don't know what the Hell I'm talking about.
Anyways, they've lost their old site(since they're no longer affiliated with CC) and now are at http://www.kissjonesboro.com/view/470. Also, they've started on their annual Christmas Treasure Hunt.
The grand prize?
A 2001 Dodge Intrepid, with a new sound system.
My response?
What does the runner up get? An EBT Card and a lifetime supply of this?
My president has "catlike speed and reflexes."
Ah, since I've last been on, the President has learned the one of the main welcoming traditions of US citizens by Arabs while visiting the region(believe me, it's better than the other ones.
To commemorate this, I bring an animated GIF:
It seems as if he's done that drill before.
To commemorate this, I bring an animated GIF:
It seems as if he's done that drill before.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
The first Mountain Dew commercial
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xd8fzk8Rlk
Mountain Dew, the best thing to happen to the South since Crystal Methamphetamine!
Mountain Dew, the best thing to happen to the South since Crystal Methamphetamine!
Sunday news...
Lost in translation: Hooters opens franchises in China under the name 'The American Owl'
New Versace hotel in Dubai finds ingenious way to deal with global warming: Refrigerate the beach.
The German government has lost over 300 top secret files over the last 10 years. They're so secret, in fact, that they don't even know what they lost. Talk about unknown unknowns.
Wounded Iraq vet gets to adopt her bomb dog.
New Versace hotel in Dubai finds ingenious way to deal with global warming: Refrigerate the beach.
The German government has lost over 300 top secret files over the last 10 years. They're so secret, in fact, that they don't even know what they lost. Talk about unknown unknowns.
Wounded Iraq vet gets to adopt her bomb dog.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Operation Blue Falcon: The Groves Election Night Fiasco
(definition courtesy of the Urban Dictionary)
"Blue Falcon"-A socially acceptable reference to the acronym 'bf', also known as 'buddy fuck'; referring to an action that leads to 'fucking over' your 'buddy'. Common in military parlance. See also "bf"
"Our LT-CMD took point, led us through a mine field and almost blue falconed the entire platoon."
The geniuses in the Grove complex November 4th are just that, buddy fuckers. Sure, the election of an African-American to the presidency is a momentous occasion, but it can be assumed that he took great pains in his life not to act like the fucktards who decided to booze up, not leave the complex when the cops ordered them to leave "more than 15 times", as JPD Chief Yates said, and decided to shout obscenities at the police officers. As they were starting to arrest the more fucktarded sounding of the bunch, a couple decided to do something quite brilliant.
They approached the officers...
and acted a fool.
Oh, ya, that's a taserin'.
In this Hope-filled melee, one particularly genius man from Stuttgart decided to put his Fist of Change to a female officer's nose, breaking it.
Right after this all went down, mass emails, as well as a complaint filed with the JPD were sent all over accusing the JPD of police brutality by Brittany Jones. Now, I will say the JPD is pretty ridiculous when it comes to protocol, but they rarely give people "a date with senior nightstick" unless they earn it, and these guys earned it.
Now, several witnesses, including Jones, are trying to change their stories during taped police interviews. Brittany, apparently now knowing that filing a false statement is sort of illegal, asked if she could "scratch out" the original statement similar to the mass-email claims, and make a new statement.
It doesn't work that way, ma'am.
According to the Jonesboro Sun say that "repeated attempts to contact Brittany Jackson, Erika Guy and Chelsea Adams, who also filed complaints against officers, were unsuccessful."
One could assume they were too busy fighting for social justice to be bothered with requests with what really happened that night.
"Blue Falcon"-A socially acceptable reference to the acronym 'bf', also known as 'buddy fuck'; referring to an action that leads to 'fucking over' your 'buddy'. Common in military parlance. See also "bf"
"Our LT-CMD took point, led us through a mine field and almost blue falconed the entire platoon."
The geniuses in the Grove complex November 4th are just that, buddy fuckers. Sure, the election of an African-American to the presidency is a momentous occasion, but it can be assumed that he took great pains in his life not to act like the fucktards who decided to booze up, not leave the complex when the cops ordered them to leave "more than 15 times", as JPD Chief Yates said, and decided to shout obscenities at the police officers. As they were starting to arrest the more fucktarded sounding of the bunch, a couple decided to do something quite brilliant.
They approached the officers...
and acted a fool.
Oh, ya, that's a taserin'.
In this Hope-filled melee, one particularly genius man from Stuttgart decided to put his Fist of Change to a female officer's nose, breaking it.
Right after this all went down, mass emails, as well as a complaint filed with the JPD were sent all over accusing the JPD of police brutality by Brittany Jones. Now, I will say the JPD is pretty ridiculous when it comes to protocol, but they rarely give people "a date with senior nightstick" unless they earn it, and these guys earned it.
Now, several witnesses, including Jones, are trying to change their stories during taped police interviews. Brittany, apparently now knowing that filing a false statement is sort of illegal, asked if she could "scratch out" the original statement similar to the mass-email claims, and make a new statement.
It doesn't work that way, ma'am.
According to the Jonesboro Sun say that "repeated attempts to contact Brittany Jackson, Erika Guy and Chelsea Adams, who also filed complaints against officers, were unsuccessful."
One could assume they were too busy fighting for social justice to be bothered with requests with what really happened that night.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Arelection.org data continues...
Ok, now that Greene County's county clerk decided to stop holding up the info on her county, the stats on the First Congressional District are in...
Counties going Red in '08: 21
Counties going Blue in '08: 5
Local Democrats crying in their beers that they actually have to campaign for this guy again in four years in counties where local Democratic leaders and candidates were openly stating their support for McCain: priceless.
Seriously, I can't state this enough how big this is. In the entire history of the region of Eastern Arkansas, the majority of its people have never voted to have a Republican president until now. Even Greene County, the county that historically would literally vote for a Yellow Dog than a Republican had only had a single point difference between it's vote and in Baxter County's, meaning it's on track to going Red on the local level in 4 to 8 years.
It didn't hurt that the county's democratic committee refused to hold a campaign HQ in Obama's name. Hell, I don't think they even did that to Carter in '80.
Oh and one more thing. Did anyone notice that former Democratic State Chair and Jonesboro native Willett had his mayoral campaign pretty much crash and burning after spending over a 100 grand and ended of tens of thousands of that in debt after getting less than 20% of the vote. Considering that Jonesboro is the main fund raising hub for Democrats the region, we was the DPA state chair, and he's actually from Jonesboro, I believe I shall award him:
Counties going Red in '08: 21
Counties going Blue in '08: 5
Local Democrats crying in their beers that they actually have to campaign for this guy again in four years in counties where local Democratic leaders and candidates were openly stating their support for McCain: priceless.
Seriously, I can't state this enough how big this is. In the entire history of the region of Eastern Arkansas, the majority of its people have never voted to have a Republican president until now. Even Greene County, the county that historically would literally vote for a Yellow Dog than a Republican had only had a single point difference between it's vote and in Baxter County's, meaning it's on track to going Red on the local level in 4 to 8 years.
It didn't hurt that the county's democratic committee refused to hold a campaign HQ in Obama's name. Hell, I don't think they even did that to Carter in '80.
Oh and one more thing. Did anyone notice that former Democratic State Chair and Jonesboro native Willett had his mayoral campaign pretty much crash and burning after spending over a 100 grand and ended of tens of thousands of that in debt after getting less than 20% of the vote. Considering that Jonesboro is the main fund raising hub for Democrats the region, we was the DPA state chair, and he's actually from Jonesboro, I believe I shall award him:
Monday, December 8, 2008
News you can't use. Not yours.
California homosexuals urged to "call in gay" to work on Wednesday. In other news, Banana Republic locations across California will be closed Wednesday.
The Top 10 movies that should have rocked, but didn't. In case you didn't realize Spiderman 3 is a finalist, I should remind you Topher Grace played Venom.
Remember when we were kids and our moms would hold us down and write swear words on our foreheads with a crayon? Good times, good times.
Official in charge of keeping Massachusetts ports free of illegal immigrants arrested for hiring illegal immigrants.
Ah, and a youtube link to an old Siskel and Ebert review of "A Christmas Story"... Ironic predictions about the future success abound:
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Youtube, Camera Phones, Beer, Borat, and Why Life as We Know it is Already Doomed
It came to me as I watched a scene of Borat on the movie screen in LSA Anaconda, Iraq during my deployment. As often do many things that people do while intoxicated, South Carolina college students decide to pick up a Kazakh news reporter.
As we all know, this had no probability of ending well.
Looking already too drunk to even turn down a sexual favor from woman with a suspiciously large Adam's Apple, and with a little coxing from Borat, they were happy to oblige with various racist and sexist remarks that will make their next few trips to Wal-Mart more than a little awkward.
Then something came into my mind. A bad, horrible, terrible thing. What if this happened more often? What if people actually did start going around at parties with wireless cameras and microphones, trying to use lack of context, loose lips, and even the law of averages, getting caught up in the moment and completely gaffing the flying f**k away in one sentence?
Think of it this way: have you ever said at least one thing, one thing in your entire life that would be so horrible, that, if publicized could harm you socially?
And often more serious actions by collections of morons caught on tape, or at least persons under temporary morose behavior, can actually lead to large scale tomfoolery, and when tomfoolery breaks out, we're all pretty much screwed.
By the way, any old timers remember seeing footage like this from the beautiful city of LA? It's like having the COPS production crew pretty much behind the shoulder of each and every one of us, waiting for the moment to put us in Youtube infamy.
...so ya, we're pretty much screwed.
As we all know, this had no probability of ending well.
Looking already too drunk to even turn down a sexual favor from woman with a suspiciously large Adam's Apple, and with a little coxing from Borat, they were happy to oblige with various racist and sexist remarks that will make their next few trips to Wal-Mart more than a little awkward.
Then something came into my mind. A bad, horrible, terrible thing. What if this happened more often? What if people actually did start going around at parties with wireless cameras and microphones, trying to use lack of context, loose lips, and even the law of averages, getting caught up in the moment and completely gaffing the flying f**k away in one sentence?
Think of it this way: have you ever said at least one thing, one thing in your entire life that would be so horrible, that, if publicized could harm you socially?
And often more serious actions by collections of morons caught on tape, or at least persons under temporary morose behavior, can actually lead to large scale tomfoolery, and when tomfoolery breaks out, we're all pretty much screwed.
By the way, any old timers remember seeing footage like this from the beautiful city of LA? It's like having the COPS production crew pretty much behind the shoulder of each and every one of us, waiting for the moment to put us in Youtube infamy.
...so ya, we're pretty much screwed.
Burger Virgins... and barely legal.
Yes, this apparently is a very real (but not really serious) documentary, as Burger King actually did send people out on a wacked out version of the old Pepsi-Coke taste tests.
Apparently, there are people who are outraged about this, as people with bunched-up panties often are.
December's first batch...
(there would be a funny picture about winter, but blogspot decided to be evil for the moment...)
In a stunning reversal, UAW president says they may agree to having some of their members not be paid for doing absolutely nothing.
If you are trying to get out of a DUI manslaughter arrest, giggling during your field sobriety test is not the best strategy.
This is why you always get the new kid to clear the paper jam in the printer.
Vin Diesel to star in "dead language version" movie of Hannibal crossing the Alps. Because "Alexander" didn't cause a a rip in the terrible-movie-space-time-continuum that was supposed to kill us all years ago.
Scientists putting in long hours of "research" discover different cultures use different gestures to order beer.
In a stunning reversal, UAW president says they may agree to having some of their members not be paid for doing absolutely nothing.
If you are trying to get out of a DUI manslaughter arrest, giggling during your field sobriety test is not the best strategy.
This is why you always get the new kid to clear the paper jam in the printer.
Vin Diesel to star in "dead language version" movie of Hannibal crossing the Alps. Because "Alexander" didn't cause a a rip in the terrible-movie-space-time-continuum that was supposed to kill us all years ago.
Scientists putting in long hours of "research" discover different cultures use different gestures to order beer.
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