Noticed the scourge of TV pitchmen hordes that are coming out of your television? Here's the wonderful news how, as our economy gets worse, they will only grow in strength. Why?
Because our tears provide nourishment to Billy Mays. That's why.
Not really. As this hard-hitting journalism from New Jersey tells us, as-seen-on-tv products actually become more successful due to cheaper promotion costs and increased viewership.
So actually, yes. In a roundabout way, our tears do, in fact, provide nourishment to Billy Mays.
Oddly enough, the more interesting story about these guys is the one about Vince Offer. Vince who?
This man.
Interestingly enough, Vince Offer is a former "independent filmmaker", whose "film"(a 1999 "comedy" called "The Underground Comedy Movie") tanked, and so then decided sue everyone from the Farrelly brothers to Anna Nicole Smith to the Church of Scientology for screwing up his movie.
It should be noted that Anna Nicole was sued for backing out of being in the movie, as she thought it would be detrimental to her career.
Anna Nicole Smith's career.
So Billy Mays drinks your tears, Vince Offer killed Anna Nicole Smith, and here's your big piece of shit slider station.
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